Posts Tagged "coming out"
Posted 3/7/14 @ 1:36 AM
I came out to my dad as bisexual 2 years ago when I was 16, and he pretty much said no you're not you're gay or straight, you'll decide later. Turns out I still like my gender and others! As a parent, how do you think I could reaffirm this? Also I haven't told my mom, so should I tell her before I go off to college or after? (I'm pretty sure she'll be ok with it, just a shock at first). Just answer from your perspective as a parent, even though it's different for everyone. Thanks!
I guess you could tell him that he may think you’re gay or straight but that just isn’t the case. Sounds like he’ll get used to it.
I always suggest telling parents before you leave for college. If you wait till after, they will blame college for ‘turning you gay’ or bi. Better for them to know it happened while you were living with them, not those crazy gay-making colleges! ;)
Posted 3/6/14 @ 11:06 PM
ok so im a teenage girl and i also happen to be queer. my dad seems fine with this, but my mom on the other hand seems... different. First i came out to her, and she forgot and flipped out when i mentioned it months later. since then shes been really weird if i even call one of my friends pretty. i dont even think shes alright with it. all shes ever said was "other people are like that too." not i love you no matter who you love or its ok to be gay. nothing. everytime i bring it up she drops it.
She did not forget. A mom doesn’t forget when her kid says she’s queer. My guess is that she hoped YOU WOULD forget about it. You may have to come out to her (and others) MANY times in your life.That is just a sad fact.
She may need more time to get used to the information. As she sees you grow up, queer, she will come to realize that it is who you are. You may have to wait till then to hear her say she loves you unconditionally. She may not know that is what you need to hear. Have you told her? The fact that a kid has to ask her mom that question should shake her into realizing that it is YOU she loves, not how you identify.
Try to get her to look into PFLAG.org.
Posted 3/6/14 @ 10:59 PM
Hello! I am a transmale in my sophomore, soon to be junior, year of high school and to tell the truth, I'm terrified to tell everyone in my family the truth. I told my father and mother but I have asked them to keep it quiet for now but I feel like my mom doesn't really approve it. I don't mean keeping quiet, I mean that I'm trans. I really don't know what to do. All my friend and teachers are accepting and call me by my preferred name and pronoun but I'm still scared about my family's reaction.
Nobody needs to approve of you being trans. Just acceptance. I know from being by my son’s side though his transition that it is a hard thing to tell people. You’re about to tell them something they never thought they’d ever hear.
You have to accept yourself as who you really are. It won’t make it EASIER to tell people but it will make you want to share with people. Your life will feel better if everyone calls you by your preferred name and pronouns. That’s a pretty big thing.
Tell your mom, if she asks, that you are at a very typical age to know you’re trans. Going though adolescence makes it pretty clear (for a lot of trans people) that they need to make some major changes in their lives. Disclaimer: there is not one trans-narrative. I’m just giving MY opinion of what I experienced with MY trans-son. It may be different for other people.
Posted 2/15/14 @ 1:24 AM
"LAS VEGAS ; An emotional Ellen Page, the adorable, quirky actress who enchanted movie audiences in 2007 as the pregnant teenager Juno, came out as gay Friday night at a conference for educators and counselors who work with LGBTQ youth."
An emotional Ellen Page, “Juno” star, comes out at HRC conference
Countless people stand with open arms as you come out!
Hey! University of Missouri! Mizzou! That’s less than 2 hours from where I teach! Congratulations to Michael Sam for taking a stand outside the closet.
but… I don’t understand the following statement:
Yet other officials believed the league is still some three to five years away from being able to handle an openly gay player.
Are they going to remodel stadiums in honor of openly gay players? Why else would they need 3 to 5 years to “handle” it?
Posted 2/9/14 @ 10:09 PM
Posted 2/4/14 @ 3:00 PM
My 11 yr old just told me that he is gay. My feelings as a mom towards him don't change. I will be 100% supportive of his preference, but I am so scared, of anyone trying to harm him in any kind of way. It's just so hard for me. I never thought I'd be feeling this way. I want to get some type of counseling for him to get him prepared for those people who will not respect his preference.
PFLAG.org! It was created for parents exactly like you! Keep in mind, it isn’t a “preference”, like if he wants pb&j or mac and cheese for lunch. I will assume you are straight- do you consider your sexual attraction, romantic feelings, and identity preferences? If you think deeply about that, you will get a better understanding of who your son is.
While I know it is hard for you, please always remember that it is 1000x harder for him.
If he is having emotional issues, then counseling is great, but you didn’t mention any problems so don’t think he needs it because he is gay. Would you send your straight kid to counseling if he told you he liked girls? If your kid liked classical music and his friends all liked rap, would you send him to counseling to prepare him for being bullied about that?
Suggest he get involved in a GSA at his school. Or have him start one! Teach him how to ignore the hate and to be proud of who he is.
Most of all LOVE HIM and LISTEN and BE THERE and HUG HIM. That is what he needs from you.
Posted 2/4/14 @ 2:52 PM
I'm a mother of 3 & I think my youngest (he is 10) might be gay or transgender. I have no experience with this & am looking for any information I can find to help support him & help all of us understand a little more about what he is experiencing & will experience as he goes through puberty, adolescence and adulthood. I feel so lost & helpless, I want to help him & support him but I am so scared for him & his safety, especially now that he has shown interest in dressing more feminine. Any advice
Go to PFLAG.org and read everything you can find there. See if you can find a meeting near you. Your questions are all the things a parent would/should worry about. When my transgender son was female-identified and came out as a lesbian I felt SO clueless about guiding my kid through puberty etc. PFLAG (and my local friends) were the biggest help.
Don’t be “scared” for him, just keep an eye on him and make sure HE understands how to stay safe. He may face bullying so make sure he knows how to deal with that- whatever his school’s policy is. My husband was so afraid for our kid! I swear, it was like he thought snipers were hiding in trees waiting for our kid to walk by. Safety is VERY IMPORTANT, do NOT get me wrong! Just don’t spend your life worrying- take action- make sure he is aware - and maybe a bit of martial arts might help.
This generation is much more accepting of our gender and sexual minority kids. The older generation makes up a great deal of the problem (and solution- moms like you!).
Bottom line: READ READ READ and talk to other moms. Yay for you loving your boy unconditionally and only caring about HIS needs. You are awesome.
Posted 12/30/13 @ 12:17 AM
Hi, I would like to tell you how happy I am to see someone as nice as you helping these people. I am a straight girl but fully supportive of homosexuals. You helped my friend come out to his parents. Thank you so much for helping him find happiness.
Thank you very much! I’m VERY happy to hear that your friend was able to come out to his parents and that I was able to help in some small way. It is always good to find out about a positive outcome!
Posted 12/28/13 @ 10:14 PM
As a mother, would you rather your child come out in person rather than letter, cake, etc?
yes. I would be so sad if my children felt they couldn’t talk to me about their lives.
I hear a lot from young gay Mormons worried about coming out. This may not be typical but maybe will become so.
Posted 12/23/13 @ 12:37 AM