(Part 2) It’s been 9 years since I came out. My mother has made strides. It’s still difficult for her and it’s still difficult for me but I know she loves me. She learned of my partner about 2.5 years ago (I’d kept her a secret for the same length) and didn’t react the way I thought she would. This year she sent her a birthday card with a check that said “dinner for two” in the “for” space. And my partner is coming to thanksgiving this year. There was a time when my mother couldn’t look (Part 3) at me without crying. Now she hugs me and smiles and tells me she loves me every time we’re together. I know she has had a difficult time coming to accept me for who I am and I know she’s felt alone. I’ve always wanted to suggest PFLAG to her but hesitated for fear of undoing all that had been done. I think she might be ready now. What are your thoughts?
Book cover outing- there’s a first for everything! I love your letter because I think it gives hope to others who think their parents will NEVER come around. Sounds like she behaved in an unfortunate way (leaving) but we can’t really judge other people like that. Maybe she feared doing something horrible if she had stayed around at that point. Nine years is a long time to wait. But love won out.
That “dinner for two” card is HUGE! What a change from running away to sending you and your gf out to dinner. And Thanksgiving.
I’m elated - love really won. I’m so glad that neither of you gave up and that she came to her senses. You are probably more understanding and patient that I could have been in your place.
Ok- PFLAG. Tell her how much you love her, what it means to you that she accepts you and your gf, what a great mom she is. Then- ask her if she has heard of PFLAG. GIve her a brochure (download whichever one sounds best to you at PFLAG.org) about what it is. Find out where a group meets near you and add that on the brochure. Tell her that other moms would benefit from hearing how she came to love and accept you- and that she might find it interesting to hear their stories. All you need to do is to GET her there, the group should take care of the rest.
My thoughts are: YAY, approach it as a happy thing where she could help others and enjoy meeting other moms who know what she has experienced. Then pick some pretty flowers and give them to her! ♡ ♡