I'm A PFLAG Mom

Posts Tagged "bisexual"

Book lists: Queer reads

(This is cut/paste for part of my syllabus):

Helpful links

Memoirs and biographies of trans people:

http://www.glbtq.com/sfeatures/transautobio.html

http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/6544.Transgender_Memoirs_and_Biographies

http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=160223011

Add: Second Son by Ryan Sallans

Memoirs and biographies of Lesbians:

http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/21648.Lesbian_Memoirs

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?category_id=921391:

Gay Men:

https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/gay-biography

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Books-Gay-Biographies/zgbs/books/2440

Bisexuals:

http://www.biwriters.org/pages/bisexualbiographyN.html

Polyamory:

http://www.polychromatic.com/bio.html

Asexual resources:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/links.html

 

 

 

 

 

coming out as bi

I have two annon. questions about coming out as bisexual. I will answer them together.

There is little you can do to convince someone that bisexuality is a real thing. I would suggest knowing that you know your sexuality and it doesn’t matter if someone doubts you. It must be hard, though, to be considered invisible. 

For parents not talking to their kids after they come out as bi- Try to keep the lines of potential communication open. Don’t burn your bridges. When you are independent, self-supporting, and if things are still just as bad, you might have to accept the fact that they aren’t going to be in your life. In that case, you create your own family…family of choice. You will probably end up doing that anyway. 

To make it easier…I really wish I had an answer for that.

Question from yornociam

I came out to my dad as bisexual 2 years ago when I was 16, and he pretty much said no you're not you're gay or straight, you'll decide later. Turns out I still like my gender and others! As a parent, how do you think I could reaffirm this? Also I haven't told my mom, so should I tell her before I go off to college or after? (I'm pretty sure she'll be ok with it, just a shock at first). Just answer from your perspective as a parent, even though it's different for everyone. Thanks!

I guess you could tell him that he may think you’re gay or straight but that just isn’t the case. Sounds like he’ll get used to it. 
I always suggest telling parents before you leave for college. If you wait till after, they will  blame college for ‘turning you gay’ or bi. Better for them to know it happened while you were living with them, not those crazy gay-making colleges! ;)

Question from Anonymous

Hi! I have been out to my parents for about a year now as a bisexual individual. I mostly enjoy dating women but sometimes will date men. My current significant other was my girlfriend and is now transitioning to male. My mom uses this to tell me that I should only date men now because I "can choose". How can I show her how backwards this thinking is? It makes her very angry that I contiunously choose to date women when I "could" be with men...

She doesn’t understand what you mean when you tell her that you are bi. You need to explain it to her better. It would be like telling saying “why don’t your just date blonds?” Going though your life only looking at blonds when you don’t care about hair color! She may just want to make like easier for you…or her…but either way, she needs to better understand how you feel. Tell her. 

Question from and-a-whole-lot-of-running

I like girls. I like guys. I don't care if you're biologically one but your gender doesn't match it. I don't care if you don't identify with either. What does that make me? I always thought I was bisexual but I'm not sure and I'm worried that I'm just going to be alienated for it.

Check out the term “pansexual” and see if it fits better. 

Question from Anonymous

I'm sure you get these questions pretty often, so I'm sorry if you have to repeat yourself! Anyways, I'm a bisexual girl from a baptist church going family. My family doesn't know I'm bisexual, and i don't want to tell them bc I know they'll try and change me. My dad literally hates homosexuality and takes personal offense to it. My mother is probably more comfortable with is but knows that it's unbiblical. Do you have any advice? Thank you for your time c:

Do you think there is hope for them to watch a video (Fish Out of Water) or read some of the resources about “homosexuality and the bible” from PFLAG.org? Other than that, I’m really not sure what it would take to get your family to change their close-minded attitudes? Maybe you could talk to your mom in private and tell her that you are afraid of what to do and need her help. I hope this helps a bit. 

Question from Anonymous

Hi, I'm a 17 year old female who has been dating boys since I started dating at all. This has given my parents the assumption that I am straight. My parents know I support LGBT organizations and I have some friends who are part of the groups, but haven't even questioned me on sexual preferences. I believe I am pansexual or bisexual. I'm still figuring it out but I know I am at least not attracted to males only. Should I still think about coming out the my parents if I'm not sure what I am?

IF you have a close relationship with your parents and feel that you could talk to them about your questioning your sexual orientation, then I say yes. That is what parents, theoretically, are for! If not, then perhaps you should continue your journey to self-understanding a bit longer before you bring them into the conversation.

Question from Anonymous

Hi :) I'm a bisexual teenage girl and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. My mom has been hinting around about my not being completely straight (even though i haven't told anybody but my friends about my sexuality) and i kept telling her that i was straight because i wasn't ready to tell her yet (plus, opp. sex relationship=believable) and she dropped the subject after a while, but now i feel that i'm ready to tell her, but i'm not quite sure how.

I’ve been asked several times, by loving parents, how to let their kids know it would be okay if they told them they were “not straight”.  Perhaps her hinting around has been her way to let you know this. If you’re ready you could say “hey mom, remember when you asked about me not being completely straight? I’m ready to talk about that now if you are.” Then talk. Depending on her level of understanding, you may need to explain how you can be bisexual but in a relationship with a guy.  I hope that the two of you will have a good talk that brings you even closer together.