As it is the Sabbath, I thought it a good time to do some reading on what it means to be an Orthodox Jew and a Queer Orthodox Jew. I found an article written by a Gay Orthodox Rabbi. I wanted to pull quotes from it for you but the entire article is SO good that you simply must read it all. Here is just one paragraph:
At yeshiva I realized, to my great alarm, that I was attracted to another student named Yossi, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Instead of going to the rabbi of the yeshiva I chose to consult with the great rabbinical sage of the generation, Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, leader of the Lithuanian sect, who lived in one of the most insular communities in Jerusalem [Elyashiv died last year at age 102]. I sat down across from him and I said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rabbi, I’m attracted to men and women both. What should I do?’ Rabbi Elyashiv answered, ‘Dear one, my friend, you have a dual power of love. Use it carefully.’ I was stunned. ‘That’s all?’ I asked, and he smiled and said, ‘There’s nothing more to say.’
One thing I want to say first though, is you need to accept yourself. When you read the whole article, you will see that the Rabbi had to struggle in the same way. When he became comfortable with his sexuality AND his religion, loving another man AND loving G-D, he became able to to enter the synagogue with confidence in himself. The Torah is an ancient text written in its time for its time. The Rabbi explains how he interprets it here:
“For a religious person, the text is eternal and living, and is not subject to just one interpretation. ‘The Torah has 70 faces,’ goes the saying. The text is still binding and I feel the words of God calling to me. But I hear them in a different way because I live in a different time. It’s impossible to understand the text while ignoring the people in the street. They must be heard, and if the rabbis won’t listen to the stories that each one of us carries, they will have difficulty understanding the text. The process of change has begun. The rabbis have stopped responding aggressively toward gays. Our strategy is to enter into the halakhic discourse, and this is what I did in the book.”
So first - love and accept yourself. For real. Then you can have confidence that G-d created all of us in all of our varieties- and THAT IS GOOD.
Here is a link to his book Wrestling with G-d and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition
WARNING: as with ANY controversial topic, DON’T read the comments. Virtually any article about LGBTQ+/GSM people will have vile comments. Best to read the article and ignore the haters.
I hope this helps.