Apr 04

Honey Maid ad responds to homophobia with love. -


Apr 02

ndty95 asked: To the anon who is out everywhere but to their parents: I myself have a similar situation, though my parents were/are not abusive. I am out to literally everyone but my parents and a few relatives. You have no obligation to your parents. None. No matter what anyone tries to tell you. I'm lucky in that no one seems to judge my situation or pressure me like you seem to be experiencing, but my heart goes out to you all the same!


Anonymous asked: My family is Mormon. I was raised in the Mormon church and I am finally accepting that I'm a lesbian. I don't know if I will be able to come out to my family and tell them. My cousin knows, and she's not judgmental at all. I'm afraid when I come out my family isn't going to talk to me anymore. And it makes me sad. What should I do?? Should I wait until leaving for college in the fall or until after I'm able to support myself better?

I know so many LGBT mormons- so many excommunicated mormons - and some gay mormon activists.

Hang onto your cousin, I’m happy to hear you have some family you know you can count on. 

I can’t tell you what your family will do. My hope is they will love as they love you now - and - that they won’t try to change you.

Waiting until college. If you do that, be prepared for them to blame college for turning you gay. Before you come out though, make sure you can support yourself through college. That could mean scholarships, grants, loans, etc. Don’t give up college and the promise of being able to support yourself plus having a career that makes you happy. 

Look up “mormon and gay” and you’ll find support groups out there.

Anonymous asked: I'm afab and I've just come to the solid realization that I'm genderfluid-leaning-female. I'm afraid to voice this in a queer community because femme-genderfluid is preeeety close to plain old female, my assigned gender at birth, and I'm worried everyone will think I'm "not genderfluid enough" or just trying to be special. I think I'll just stay in the closet and hope this really is just a phase.

People have trouble understanding anything outside the strict gender binary. Queer people are no different unless they experience it themselves. 

There is no such thing as “genderfluid enough”. There is no standard for judging genderfluidity. 

If people think fem-genderfluid = cisfemale, they are wrong. That’s all, just wrong. I wouldn’t waste my time trying to convince them otherwise. Unless there is something unusual and odd about your queer community, it shouldn’t matter if you meet anyone’s genderfluid standards.

Anonymous asked: Hi! I'd like to get your perspective on something as a parent. I have grown up in an abusive household, and now my involvement with my local PFLAG chapter is making me feel pressured to come out to them. I'm not sure how they would react. At the same time, I feel like if I stay closeted only to them (I'm out everywhere else) I'm not being a good representative of PFLAG. What are your thoughts?

You probably could guess that I am a BIG supporter of PFLAG.

You do NOT owe any group anything! Do not let ANYONE pressure you to come out when you are not ready. I believe that coming out is a highly personal issue and only YOU can know if you are ready -and want - to do it. A good representative of PFLAG helps people  find support when needed. That’s it, not to be out. Maybe they see something you’re missing but, from what you say here, I’m disappointed that a group, especially PFLAG, would put pressure on you.

Do you live with your parents? I would be very cautious around abusive people. That makes me uneasy. You don’t have to come out to your parents while you are in “reaching distance” of their abuse. If they are emotionally abusive, you may need to get counseling before you’re strong enough to deal with that. (trust me, I’m still working on that and I’m WAY grown up).

Perhaps you could tell them right out that you are uncomfortable about feeling pressured and you will come out to your parents, or not, in your own time…but you appreciate their concern for you. It does sound like they may feel close enough to you that they feel they could give you such advice. With abusive parents, it must be nice to have a PFLAG family. Though- if you come from an abusive home, you may be conditioned to obey adults, in which case, you feel you need to listen to these people. That makes sense- I hope you will seek counseling  to work out the crappy parts of your life sooner - rather than later.

Mar 31

Gender Identity in university nondiscrimination policy

Hey tumblrverse, I need help. I need some resources supporting the need - precedent- for including gender identity in a university’s nondiscrimination policy.

Sexual orientation  was added at our university in Dec 12 — now I’ve presented a resolution asking the Board of Governors to add gender identity and expression. The president of the university (a lawyer) has stated that we don’t need it due to protection granted by Title VII. I know that some courts have allowed that argument but others have not. Regardless, I’m not interested in what law to use to go to court, I’m looking to make a statement of inclusion. Welcoming, valuing, and protecting diversity in our students, faculty, and staff. 

Sounds good - - - BUT —- I’m working against people who 1. Don’t want to include it, 2. are obsessed with worry over bathrooms, 3. and think it is a slippery slope that will lead to gods knows what! (plus ignorant on issues related to gender identity.)

The president says he won’t block it but he won’t endorse it either. He is having me speak in front of the Board of Governors about it. Luckily I have some students working on gathering information on this as well.

I am looking for:

1. examples of inclusive nondiscrimination policies at other universities in the US.

2. reasoning that has been used to pass such inclusive policies.

3. answers to the argument that Title VII is all that is needed.

Please pass this onto anyone you know who might have access to this type of information. I need it quickly because I’m meeting again with the president soon and am being interviewed by the local media on Monday (4/7) Thank you!


ETA: comment received: languageisafence said: Most people don’t know what Title VII is, and even fewer people know that it covers trans and gender nonconforming people.

This is an excellent point languageisafence! I’m going to use this because someone looking at our university as a student or potential employee, wouldn’t look at our ND policy and say “oh look no gender identity but Title VII takes care of that!” The majority of people will just see that Gender Identity is NOT included while other places DO include it. Thank you.

Mar 28

Transgender study looks at 'exceptionally high' suicide-attempt rate - Los Angeles Times -

I may have posted it before, and you may have seen it already, but I’m posting this in hopes that EVERYONE sees it. Repost, tell people, ACT.

Mar 27

Mo. lawmaker introduces bill to repeal state’s ban on same-sex marriage – LGBTQ Nation -

My state. :)

19 Creative Ways People Have Satirized Anti-Gay Arguments -

These are all funny - if you haven’t seen #6 yet, here’s your chance, and I especially like #13 #14

Mar 24

How Transphobic Are You -

This is great. Says a lot in one little set of graphics.